Grace Upon Grace

There is always a reason to smile. You just have to find one.

- Anonymous

Check out the sweet photo above—a joyful moment in time captured, of the picture-

perfect family. All the smiles, the laughter, and so much love. But you know what I

think? I think right after this picture was taken, the little blonde toddler squeezed her

mom’s nose too hard, frustrating the mom and altering the mood. So, the little boy

shoves his sister out of the way to check on Mom. The toddler retaliates with a tantrum,

and smacks her brother. Dad intervenes and ‘picture-perfect’ has passed.

I’ve always considered myself an optimist. But also a realist after having children, and

from talking to many other moms, it sounds like I’m not alone. The big emotions and

sometimes foolishness of children can be a lot.

Kids can be hard. Kids can be selfish. Sometimes kids throw fits—they want what they

want, when they want it. And each kid is different. But aren’t we all just big kids at

heart? Sometimes we all just want to throw a fit, or just take our ball and go home.

But as we consider our own selfishness and sinfulness, we continuously thank God for

the powerful gift of grace. And therefore, we learn to give grace. It’s a grace that’s

undeserved, yet a grace that holds the capacity to change us, and also our children.

A couple of weeks ago at a Wednesday night Bible study our preacher, Lance, talked

about the ways that God is good, but also just. This article is predominantly focused

upon the grace of God, but it would be foolish of us to forget that children need godly

discipline. God disciplines all of His children because of His great love for us, but also

for our good. Through this discipline, good boundaries help us stay safe, but also give us

life and freedom. Freedom to move within the realm and beauty of God’s great love and

purpose. So, of course we discipline our children. But for now, we’ll focus on the power

of changing grace.

Rick Warren writes, “You were made by God and for God, and until you understand

that, life will never make sense.”

That’s refreshing truth for Christians of all ages. And since we are God’s, we look to

God’s word to help us with all things, especially parenting.

In doing so, I’d like to introduce Paul David Tripp’s book, “Parenting: 14 Gospel Truths

That Can Radically Change Your Family”.

I’ve taken three of Tripp’s gospel-based recommendations, and coupled them with

thoughts, quotes and scripture to support his teachings.

1. Our children are not ours to control, for God alone knows

what’s best.

Isaiah 55:8-9, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,

declares the LORD.

Thankfully our ways aren’t God’s ways, or we would all be in trouble. Tripp reminds us

of God’s ways throughout this book. He also reminds us that our children aren’t put

here for us— to help or hurt our reputation, for our comfort, or to be a reflection of us.

They are God’s. Our children are made with their own interests, talents and desires,

uniqueness (and yes, stubbornness). But our job is not to judge or control what God has

created but rather accept them, meeting them at wherever stage of life they might be in,

and then devotedly teaching them about God’s love, while showing them God’s love.

Sure, our kids have free-will, but they’re also watching us and learning. Living out the

ways of Jesus is not an easy task. But the fruits of our labor can be trusted, as they are

for God’s glory, and not to be done in vain.

As Corrie Ten Boom once said, “Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts

when God pries your fingers open.”

That concept can be tough. Personally, for me it’s easy to let go of status or material

things. But it’s much harder when it comes to those that I love. And we all love our

children. And we all want to be good. But how?

Tripp says,

“Good parenting lives at the intersection of a humble admission of personal

powerlessness and a confident rest in the power and grace of God.”

Also saying, ““He knows that parents who admit that they are inadequate and run

to God make the best parents.”

2. Teach them to Guard their Hearts.

A perfectly obedient child in a Christian home can go off to college and completely step

away from a Christian life, short term or forever. That’s so sad but true—truthfully, in a

way I fell into that ‘prodigal category’ (a little church in junior and high school, but I

lacked true roots).

Sometimes that happens when it’s been talked about in the home but not really lived out.

At times it happens because following Jesus is seen as nothing but ‘rules and regulations’.

Other times the child knew a little about God, but never understood the beauty and the

blessings of the bible to begin with. In any of those cases, the child’s heart missed the

sweet message of Christianity, the unparalleled love of Jesus. It’s a love that carries,

sustains, empowers, and makes a difference as child starts to make decisions.

Proverbs 4:23 is one of my favorites. It holds so much truth,

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

In today’s world, simply put, it’s nuts out there. So we must teach our children to guard

their hearts. There’s too much looking to distract them and to confuse them (from

TikTok, to YouTube, and even some school systems). So we should closely consider the

hearts of children, there’s too much at stake.

Regarding ‘the heart’, Tripp writes,

“they want their children to believe in God, to go to church, and to do what is

right, but the primary focus of their parental energy is on producing children who

are mannerly, do well at school, and succeed in sports and music. So they try to

control all of the behaviors that will get in the way of these goals. Because of this

they do not focus on the heart and what rules the heart. And because they fail to

think about the heart, they miss those wonderful moments of grace where God is

revealing the heart of the child so that his parents can be God’s tools of rescue,

leading our children to insight, confession, and repentance. They are left with

trying to get their children to do what is right without addressing the heart, failing

to understand that if they could do that, Jesus wouldn’t have had to invade earth

on his mission of rescue.”

3. With humble submission, we remember that greater is He

that is in us.

The tough truth is as sinners in a sinful world, we can’t help but to make mistakes. But

that’s not a get a jail free card. As touched on earlier, God wants us to grow into the

likeness of Christ, and our children need to see that. Even if they watch us struggle, it’s

ok. Then they can also watch get on our knees and pray. Because when our own hearts

are anchored and looking to live in the spirit, we change, and we get better. Even if it is

bit by bit.

I recently read a quote that stuck with me,

“The fruit of the spirit grows only in the garden of obedience” - Anonymous

That makes sense.

And of course, Proverbs 22:6,

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart

from it.

But this training first starts in remembering 1 John 4:4, Greater is he that is in me, than

he that is in the world.

Because we have to remember, we’re not alone in this.

Tripp Writes:

“God knew that our calling would be so huge and our weakness so deep that the only

thing that would help us was himself. So, in an act of incredible grace, he has unbuttoned

us and gotten inside of us. Now think about this as a parent. This God who has the

ability to do things that are way beyond your ability to conceive, who has perfect wisdom

and unlimited strength, right now lives inside of you.”

As moms, we know parenting isn’t for the faint-heart. Throughout the book, Tripp’s

advice and wisdom come straight from the principles of God’s Word. These truths have

power, because it originates out of God’s power. Throughout the book, the focus is on

the truths and values that are the most important. It’s fighting for the heart of your

child, through love, grace, forgiveness, consistency, and our greatest need of Jesus.

In Conclusion

As Christians devoted to growing through the power of God’s word, we get to ‘press on’

together. Together in the same direction, supporting and encouraging one

another...serving and giving. We are beyond blessed to get to journey together for the

sake of the Gospel.

In this fickle and temporary world, there will be sibling rivalry, marital problems, mom

exhaustion, and frustration. The list goes on. But as Christ followers we know who

wins. And at every moment, we can choose to take hold of our thoughts, asking

ourselves the question, “Who’s leading my heart, me or the Holy Spirit?”

When we strive to walk in the spirit there are lasting benefits (seen and unseen) in our

lives and in God’s Kingdom—most importantly our growing relationship with God. So

we keep smiling...and we keep moving in faith—seeking God’s plan, one day at a time,

one struggle after another, yet also one blessing after another, with hearts that overflow

with gratitude for the Gospel of Grace. For it is a grace that changes. But also a grace

that creates ‘picture-perfect’ photos, for this moment and the next.

3-2-1

3 Scripture Verses,

2 Quotes,

and 1 Question to Consider

3 Scripture Verses:

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his faithful love toward those

who fear him. Psalm 103:11

Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. John 1:16

He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with

all your mind. Matthew 22:7

2 Quotes:

“The Bible teaches that true joy is formed in the presence of difficulty.” - Francis Chan

“Our way is not soft grass; it’s a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upwards,

forward, toward the sun.” - Ruth Westheimer

1 Question to Consider:

Are we reaching the hearts of our children with the changing power of grace?